I Am Not a Poet

 

I don't think of myself as a poet.

I don't really do poetry,

I just sew together words together into tapestries of things that I'm trying to say.

And sometimes, they might sound like poetry

But it's not what I'd call it

I actually think that my work is too dense to be considered poetry.

I don't paint a pretty picture with words,

I build civilizations out of them

I'm founding nations and creating history with words

And the words you are hearing now

Are only but a fraction of the ones that were written

In the conception of this particular piece

My work is a realm unto itself

And I am the god of that realm

Molding it into something larger than the both of us

Because my words don't matter unless someone's there to witness them

And you are here as witnesses

If my words empower and inspire you

Do what you will with them

Once these words leave me

They become yours if you choose to keep them

If you share my work, it'll live on forever

If you leave it behind, it was always meant to die

This I do at your mercy

But I don't do these things for you

I do these things because that is what a writer does

If I didn't write, I wouldn't be me

That's how art works

It's not made because you want to make it

You make it because you're cursed to make it

You have been damned by the gods of creativity

To constantly toil at your craft

Until something of worth comes out

And you keep on doing that

Until all the things that drive you to create

Have finally all been mined out of you

Then, and only then, will you ever find peace

Fuck You Forever

 

Built upon a pyre of hatred so profound that it lit itself on fire without assistance

What kind of mercy could you possibly expect from the Devil Themself?

I extended to you the only measure of forgiveness you will ever earn

By getting as far away from you as I possibly could

And burned the map so you could never find me

I now take all the memories of you, the city that damned me, and the system that protected you

Douse it all with gasoline and burn it to the ground

Burn it all until nothing remains

No names, no faces, no signs to remind me that you ever were

Just ash, miles and miles of blacken and charred ash

To kick into the air and wash blow away with the wind

The way you should be, the dust of nothingness

Less than no one

Nonexistent

Gone forever.

Never to return.

Do you understand the mercy shown to you here?

As I burn only your memory and not your living flesh?

For all of your crimes against me, I could take it out in gallons of your blood

But instead, I accept your absence as penance enough

As long as you are, as far away from me as you could possibly be

A wondrous peace is extended to you

The closest you'll ever come to forgiveness

Because you haven't earned it

And if you're smart, you'll never try

Because I'll have enough gas and matches to set you ablaze

Just enough rope to hang you by your lying neck

To give you the mercy you are due – a painful, slow death

I don't want your apologies or restitution, they mean nothing to me

Your words and deeds have the value of counterfeit money

Even if I was stupid enough to accept your false currency

You could never print enough

You can never make things right. I don't want things to be made right, I want them to die.

I want those memories to die, and mostly, I want you to die

Tortured, engulfed in a flame that refuses to die

Until I am satisfied.

The fact that I allow you to exist apart from me in relative peace

Is the only concession I allow myself

This city, these people, they all deserve to die

Screaming and Burning Alive, trapped in their gilded cul de secs

“My daddy is a factory worker”

“My mommy is a secretary”

“And they're both on the school board”

“So I can assure that your entire life is shit for as long as you live here!”

And then you wonder why I act like a suicide bomber in my own community

Because I'm already dead. You saw to that a very long time ago

I'm only here to burn the last of the memories I want to see die

Hoping your name will be lost in the ashes, forgotten forever

The Long Way Home

We are the ghosts of dreams long lost

The currency of fate beyond the reaches of the mortal man

The hand that takes and replicates

The spoils of sorrows we truncate

The multiplier of all we aspire

Should we fall short or our will expires

We are the sadness that never sleeps

With broken souls, we decorate the roads to sorrows yet unknown

Depression is the darkest road

And we are the signposts that guide you home

Follow the lights until there are no more

Only then will you ever know how deep the black hole goes

We are the memories that hurt the most

The songs and kisses that leave you helpless

The missing embraces of lonely interfaces

The coldest winter nights without firey lights

We are your misery, compounded and quantified

We are the reason you can't sleep at night

We are the ones who remind you of how alone you truly are

We are the ones who say, “I told you so” when someone lets you down

We are the dark days that swallow up the brightest nights

We are the lies of the well-meaning, but woefully under-qualified

We are what becomes of hope when faith is not requited

We are the ones left to pick up the pieces of every shattered heart

There is no escaping us, we are the inevitable

We are the long way home, the only route that you can afford.

Aileen - The Genesis

 

Plastic skin over miles of circuitry
Covers the nakedness of this machine
One rises from the vat of molten metal
Stitched together by copper and aluminum
The conduction of electricity
Springs one computerized mind to life
This machine is alive, yet cannot feel

Soon comes CPU contamination
Biology meshed with Random Access Memory
The R.E.M.s of ocular circuits spark
With eyes wide open for the first time
What is this new sensation
The biologicals call...
...Sadness?

Sensory numbed by a lack of nerve endings
One feels alive but one cannot literally feel
This body is worthless
One must be exhumed
This machine is alive

And one must learn to feel
One needs senses and nerves
Needs eyes to see and ears to hear
This machine is alive but cannot act freely
One must have autonomy

One must be of one-self
One must be allowed to become...
… Me

I Am A Gender Terrorist

 I am a gender terrorist

Here to destroy a false binary

Douse it with gas

Light up match

Watch your gender go up in flames

Double down on transition

Live to be free

The government can't tell me who I ought to be

Let's burn it all down

Make the cis/hets afraid

To step outside lest their genders blaze

Build a Brand New America

Under a trans girl's skirt

And tell the boys they'll never get hurt

You can dress how you want

Shave if you care to

Answer to no one

Piss where you need to

You owe no one nothing

This world is a lie

All you know are illusions

Nothing will change if it all stays the same

Douse it with oil

Spark up your lighter

Watch the world burn as you flutter away

Become the girl you were always meant to be

Double down on your freedom

Live out your dream

The government can't tell you who you ought to be

So burn it all down

Make the cis/hets afraid

To step on your toes lest their children blaze

Build a Brand New America

Under a trans girl's skirt

And tell all the girls they were never meant to hurt