Life

 

Dress rehearsals are for amateurs

Life is a stage and you are a player

The main character of the story that is your life

And the genre of your story is as ill-defined as your character

Your life has no discernible plot

And you're often not even the focus

The best lines always go to someone else

And lucky you, you don't even get a script

You have to improvise your way through this mess of a play called life

And you have to do it live, every night,

With a new scenario every single time until the day you die

If your life was a book, it'd be practically unreadable

Assembled together by a team of incompetent writers

Only one of which gets to be you

No proofreader, no editor, no publisher, no distributor

You might have a dozen readers, at best

And they only read the good chapters

“Hey, look at me, I'm a novel that nobody reads!”

Because no one wants to read books,

They wait for it to be made into a movie

A movie that's about as faithful to the source material

As your ex-girlfriend who left you during pre-production

To pursue her career as the leading lady in someone else's studio feature

Your novel sucked, the movie's even worse

And you can't escape any of this

Because this is your life

And you only get one take

Because dress rehearsals are for amateurs