The Curse of Infinity

I want to reach for the stars

But I know they are forever beyond my grasp.
I don't spread myself too thin

Because simplicity is my goal.
My happiness has deep roots,

And my love ever-encompassing.
I would rip time and space apart for a sacred heart
And would use my power foolishly

To save the unworthy and ungrateful out of a faint hope

That they would even begin to notice me.

 
I would be a rather failed god,
Damned by her humanity

And forever tethered to mediocrity.
I am a tragedy, a comedy, a sonnet and a song.
I am too vengeful to be gracious,

But too forgiving to be cruel.
I am, at best, mortal and finite,
Limited in resources and vast in dreams.
What I wouldn't give to have the power and awareness of a god,
If only to become at peace with the multiverse.
But I know such power would be used foolishly,
And thus, why I am so denied.

This is the curse of Infinity.

A Love Story

My heart cries out for two names

And one of them is a lie

The other one was you, the great love of my life

I have done all I can to see joy in your eyes

But there were things I knew that I could never give

That’s where he came in, your prince in the bright moonlight

He gave you a home and love and the children you hold dear

I could never be that man

So I had to let you go

15 years is a long time to bury a heart’s wish

The temptation I try so hard to deny myself

If I once, for a second, believed I could give you the life you deserve

I live my life as a drifter, a wandering bohemian

My life has been uprooted far too many times to stay in one place

I once believed that roots were the one thing I could never have

But roots just cannot grow without some sense of permanence

Now that I finally found my home, you creep back into my mind

To once again remind me of what I’ve always known

No one ever stays still

Not in the world I’ve lived

You were just one of a million faces I have seen

I still hold a candle for you

Hoping that my love for you will override my desire to be your wife

Knowing you have exactly what you wished all of your life

Something I just can’t be

Bad Romance Part III

Would thou’st be mine
Or let me become yours
Despite all our sins and this world’s revelry
In your execution here in slow-motion? 

Of sun-bleached skin and auburn eyes
A rose will die, and I’m forced to sit here and abide
I care not for the sins or the wronged
For I’ve seen the scars you bear
There is no sanity left to my obsession
Just words ripped from my heart to this page
Sometimes I wish I could be rid of this
Accursed heart that shan’t move past your name
But damned I am or damned am not
My foolhardy heart is undeterred to seek you
If you’d call my heart devout
 
Upon your glowing face, a light has shown to me
the graciousness of your genuine heart and ecstasy
And fool I am, I wish to know your every dream
And make them all come true, I swear you
 
I’ll become an emo-screamo
Turn me into a cuckold bitch
Let me burn the world inside me
I can bleed like this forever
Rend my senses from the logic
Scar your number on my skin
Let me take upon your name in love
Until the day I fucking die!
 
I wish there was a saner way to handle all there is inside me
Raging against itself in love and hate and ignorance
All that’s left is fucking pain
I can no longer breathe inside my home
I’m tormented by plastered walls
All the color and the chaos that should bring me joy
Only reminds me of just how far away you are
And just how drab and the harsh the walls must be
For you, removed from all life’s beauty
Left to fucking die in dust with no one here
Left to love you
 
And until nothing’s left I bind my heart to you
And until there’s no life left in me, I’ll hold on to you
And when the world does die around us broiled in flames
I would remake the world of Eden for our escape
 
Let the demons come for my soul
I’ll become the antichrist
May my sword be stained in blood
Wear my scars, my sacred vow
I refuse to ever let you
Fall to fate and destiny
Without knowing that I’ll love you
Until the day I fucking die!
 
And when all sense has finally gone
I can see us stand together
In a plain of nonexistence
With nothing more than the sounds of our hearts
 
I’ll become the final villain
Let this rage tattoo my headstone
Mark the words “I loved a psycho”
I will bear this scorn for you
I will promise you this one thing
If you were to ever have me
I’ll protect your heart as sacred
Until the day I fucking die!
 
I’ll become the final villain
Let these beasts come one by one
They shall fall by my sword
Or I’ll die impaled on theirs
If I can’t fucking save you
If this love is meant to fail
Please know that I died here
As this final villain

All for you