What day is it?
The last I remember, it was Tuesday
But now my phone is telling me it’s Saturday
I haven’t seen anyone in person for months
I’m starting to think that Zoom is my best friend
Facebook is my therapist
And Twitter is my girlfriend
(and let me tell you, that’s not going so well)
I hardly use my Instagram
And I have no idea what the fuck TikTok is for
My entire life is now spent shit-posting and sharing memes!
What day is this, again?
FRIDAY?!
How’d that happen?
Was I asleep for a week?
No, turns out, I was just searching on Netflix
And Hulu
And Disney Plus
And Amazon Prime
And HBO Max
Wondering how I can subscribe to so many streaming services
Yet, I can’t find anything I want to watch
Okay, I know it’s gotta be Sunday.
What do you mean “it’s Wednesday”?!
Has all of space and time gone completely nuts?!
I seriously need to speak to the manager
Because this is totally fucked up
Days used to be in order
I used to be able to the grocery store without having a panic attack
My life used to be more than just Memes and Streaming
I actually went places, talked to people
I went to restaurants, shops and doctor’s offices
I used to be a fully-functional human being with, like, hobbies and stuff!
What the hell happened?
I swear to God,
If you tell me it’s Thursday,
I’m going to drop you on your goddamned head!
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