Fireflies

Dance, fireflies
And follow me home
Let me teach you how to hurt
And how to heal
To focus your nightmares
To unleash the fiend
To gather this whole worthless world
And hold it in your hands

Dance, fireflies
And listen to my stories
Let me teach you how to lead
And how to follow
To walk into the abysmal twilight
To find the light where the light goes to die
To gather the vagrants with nothing else to live for
And mold them into the harbingers of death

Dance, fireflies
And walk with me through the night
Let me teach you how to swim
And how to drown
To let the rivers drift you away
To let the seas carry you beyond the night
To wrestle with Poseidon and dominate Hades
To rally and claim Olympus for yourself
And reign, my fireflies
We will reign
With lighting and water and fear
To hurt, to heal, and to show this world
The True Faces of Fear

Your Love is My Slave

Your love is my slave to our basest desires
I thirst for a heart that was forged in the fire
Smelt by passion into bars of a gilded cage
Where I shall subdue you and bridle your rage
Your soul is insurgent, yet your eyes, they betray
A need to be broken and made to obey

Don’t you see how obsessed I am
In keeping you in line under my right hand?
You’ll wear the scars etched upon my mind
Within a world that I have designed
As you cry for a savior to spare you the pain
Of the fate you must suffer just to hold me again

My mind is a burning cauldron of lustful dreams
Of stretching you beyond all conceivable extremes
I live for your screams and bathe in your tears
As I inflict upon you my nightmares and fears
My soul is black, wicked and cold
Your love cannot save me, that narrative is old

Now that you see how obsessed I’ve become
With subjecting your body under my thumb
You’ll bear the scars etched upon my soul
As you gasp and beg to escape this black hole
The gravity of my grasp shall collapse your free will
You shall come to accept that you are mine still

Seven Deadly Ex's

I'm going to break every heart you have
Until there's nothing left
I'll make you cry every single time
Until I've wished myself to death
I'm going to make it so that you never forget
It was you who broke my heart
I'm going to make it so you'll always regret
That you made this your final threat

You'll never feel anything I feel
Because you've closed yourself off from it
You'll never understand anything I know
Because you've chosen to ignore it
You want to leave me behind for some stupid little boy?
And you know I'll never let you
But love makes a lousy weapon
Because you'll only ever hurt yourself

I'm going to break every heart you have
Until you run out of extra lives
I'll make that stupid boy of yours
Die every day inside
I'm going to make it so you'll never believe
Love will exist for you ever again
I'm going to make it so you'll never forget
That I'm all seven of your seven deadly sins

You'll never see anything I see
Because I will no longer let you
I’ll never be anything like you
Because I will never leave
You want to break our sacred trust for some stupid little boy?
You know, in truth, I could never stop you
Because love makes a lousy weapon
You only ever hurt yourself

Shelter in Place (2020)

What day is it?
The last I remember, it was Tuesday
But now my phone is telling me it’s Saturday
I haven’t seen anyone in person for months
I’m starting to think that Zoom is my best friend
Facebook is my therapist
And Twitter is my girlfriend
(and let me tell you, that’s not going so well)
I hardly use my Instagram
And I have no idea what the fuck TikTok is for
My entire life is now spent shit-posting and sharing memes!

What day is this, again?
FRIDAY?!
How’d that happen?
Was I asleep for a week?
No, turns out, I was just searching on Netflix
And Hulu
And Disney Plus
And Amazon Prime
And HBO Max
Wondering how I can subscribe to so many streaming services
Yet, I can’t find anything I want to watch

Okay, I know it’s gotta be Sunday.
What do you mean “it’s Wednesday”?!
Has all of space and time gone completely nuts?!
I seriously need to speak to the manager
Because this is totally fucked up
Days used to be in order
I used to be able to the grocery store without having a panic attack
My life used to be more than just Memes and Streaming
I actually went places, talked to people
I went to restaurants, shops and doctor’s offices
I used to be a fully-functional human being with, like, hobbies and stuff!
What the hell happened?

I swear to God,
If you tell me it’s Thursday,
I’m going to drop you on your goddamned head! 

The Lilith in Me

I wish that I could lay my head upon your lap
And let you run your fingers through my hair
I wish that you could reach inside me
And let me breathe your every breath
I wish that I could feel your body
Embrace mine from the back
And you would make your love to me
Like the wife that I wish I could be

But I never wanted a man
Half this world would never understand
That I’d ever want to become a girl a woman would marry
Fall in love with a girl that could love the woman within me
Be a bride for a bride that would love me with everything
I want a woman that can and will and always be
The Eve in love with the Lilith in Me

I wish that I could be as pretty as you
Even if only in your eyes, the rest of the world despised
I wish I could feel you kiss my third eye
Open up my spiritual side so wide, I’d never have to hide
I wish I could be the only one that you would ever love
Because I don’t want to have to be shared with anyone
Just let me take up your name and let me be your bride
And promise me forever, a lifetime at your side

Because I never wanted a man
And no one else but me will understand
How I’d ever want to become the girl a woman would marry
Fall in love with a girl that would love the woman within me
As a bride to a bride we could love more than anything
Could you be the woman that can and will and always be
The Eve in love with the Lilith in Me?

The Curse of Infinity

I want to reach for the stars

But I know they are forever beyond my grasp.
I don't spread myself too thin

Because simplicity is my goal.
My happiness has deep roots,

And my love ever-encompassing.
I would rip time and space apart for a sacred heart
And would use my power foolishly

To save the unworthy and ungrateful out of a faint hope

That they would even begin to notice me.

 
I would be a rather failed god,
Damned by her humanity

And forever tethered to mediocrity.
I am a tragedy, a comedy, a sonnet and a song.
I am too vengeful to be gracious,

But too forgiving to be cruel.
I am, at best, mortal and finite,
Limited in resources and vast in dreams.
What I wouldn't give to have the power and awareness of a god,
If only to become at peace with the multiverse.
But I know such power would be used foolishly,
And thus, why I am so denied.

This is the curse of Infinity.

A Love Story

My heart cries out for two names

And one of them is a lie

The other one was you, the great love of my life

I have done all I can to see joy in your eyes

But there were things I knew that I could never give

That’s where he came in, your prince in the bright moonlight

He gave you a home and love and the children you hold dear

I could never be that man

So I had to let you go

15 years is a long time to bury a heart’s wish

The temptation I try so hard to deny myself

If I once, for a second, believed I could give you the life you deserve

I live my life as a drifter, a wandering bohemian

My life has been uprooted far too many times to stay in one place

I once believed that roots were the one thing I could never have

But roots just cannot grow without some sense of permanence

Now that I finally found my home, you creep back into my mind

To once again remind me of what I’ve always known

No one ever stays still

Not in the world I’ve lived

You were just one of a million faces I have seen

I still hold a candle for you

Hoping that my love for you will override my desire to be your wife

Knowing you have exactly what you wished all of your life

Something I just can’t be

Bad Romance Part III

Would thou’st be mine
Or let me become yours
Despite all our sins and this world’s revelry
In your execution here in slow-motion? 

Of sun-bleached skin and auburn eyes
A rose will die, and I’m forced to sit here and abide
I care not for the sins or the wronged
For I’ve seen the scars you bear
There is no sanity left to my obsession
Just words ripped from my heart to this page
Sometimes I wish I could be rid of this
Accursed heart that shan’t move past your name
But damned I am or damned am not
My foolhardy heart is undeterred to seek you
If you’d call my heart devout
 
Upon your glowing face, a light has shown to me
the graciousness of your genuine heart and ecstasy
And fool I am, I wish to know your every dream
And make them all come true, I swear you
 
I’ll become an emo-screamo
Turn me into a cuckold bitch
Let me burn the world inside me
I can bleed like this forever
Rend my senses from the logic
Scar your number on my skin
Let me take upon your name in love
Until the day I fucking die!
 
I wish there was a saner way to handle all there is inside me
Raging against itself in love and hate and ignorance
All that’s left is fucking pain
I can no longer breathe inside my home
I’m tormented by plastered walls
All the color and the chaos that should bring me joy
Only reminds me of just how far away you are
And just how drab and the harsh the walls must be
For you, removed from all life’s beauty
Left to fucking die in dust with no one here
Left to love you
 
And until nothing’s left I bind my heart to you
And until there’s no life left in me, I’ll hold on to you
And when the world does die around us broiled in flames
I would remake the world of Eden for our escape
 
Let the demons come for my soul
I’ll become the antichrist
May my sword be stained in blood
Wear my scars, my sacred vow
I refuse to ever let you
Fall to fate and destiny
Without knowing that I’ll love you
Until the day I fucking die!
 
And when all sense has finally gone
I can see us stand together
In a plain of nonexistence
With nothing more than the sounds of our hearts
 
I’ll become the final villain
Let this rage tattoo my headstone
Mark the words “I loved a psycho”
I will bear this scorn for you
I will promise you this one thing
If you were to ever have me
I’ll protect your heart as sacred
Until the day I fucking die!
 
I’ll become the final villain
Let these beasts come one by one
They shall fall by my sword
Or I’ll die impaled on theirs
If I can’t fucking save you
If this love is meant to fail
Please know that I died here
As this final villain

All for you