Another Song About You

I could have been better if I never met you

Could have slept sounder if I never kept you

So close to my heart

At the very start

Of my love

I would have been better had I never cared for you

Would have felt better had I never wanted to hold you

To be taken apart

At the gate of my heart

I fall in love with you, greater still

With every thorn you stick into my side

With every last thought of love's deep divide

I mourn your loss like a lover's touch

Once denied, never to be felt again

You drift away from me like a dream

Soon to be forgotten with the morning's waking

As if you never were

While I'm left here and waiting

For the memory of you to return to me

Of everything I ever loved about you

Instead of all this seething hatred

I wake from a nightmare, screaming that you had left me

But you were never there to abandon me from the beginning

Each knife you stick into my heart-shaped rib cage

Pierces vital organs, but never truly penetrates them

These daggers to the soul shatter me more and ever more

Until all I have left of you is a broken, gas-lit memory

Of a woman who could never afford me the courtesy

Of leaving me with a sense of indemnity

I hate the way my soul is sickened

Every time I dig up my memory of you

If this is love

Then only hatred could sooth this wretched soul

I'm exhausted by this external torment

And the internal damage that has been done

This ring of fire burns my soul

Like hell hath fury of the woman scorned

But I was the woman scorned, not you

Yet you feel nothing for me

No fury, no hate, no regret, no shame

You get to live happily free of every possible last memory of me

All I was to you was a momentary annoyance

An offensive sickness you couldn't run from fast enough

Yet you will remain the scar on my soul

Of the things desired, once lost, and never to be felt again